well things have been kinda interesting for the last 24 hours I haven't slept I took way to mych ephedria and well ended up with my heart beating like hell took my blood pressure 3 times last night usually its like 120/83 mind you. at 1:26 am 180/97, 2:45 190/100, at then at 4:00 it was starting to go down it was 170/92. I made sure to watch my blood pressure becuase well we all know some people have had heart attacks while on ephedria. I have never had my heart beat as fast as it did last night it actually made me flushed and flushed and cold at the same time. I could feel my heart beat everwheres on my body. at 4:15 I went into my bedroom cause everyone had gone to bed. I was freaking out last night and I called Tim to see if he would come over (just incase I did need to go to the hospital and he said as follow oh i can't hang out with you tonight I have stuff I have to do I can't hang out at all this week maybe I will hang out with you next thursday..) What the fuck is that...great friend right NOT. I mean hell atleast Jody stayed online with me most the night to make sure I was going to be okay. my heart rate still isn't normal but it's getting there it's 140/86 as of 8:30. I sta in my room last night listening to music and wondering why it is the people that are supposed to be my friends are never there. I mean Jody is but hell Tim is supposed to be my friend I have been there for him to my best ability, I have a few other friends like Amber who are my friends but they only call when they need something. I don't know people just suck I guess. I'm out of smokes too which sucks. Cigs were supposed to come like a week ago mom checked yesterday they hadn't even cashed the check yet... grrrr. I'm a bit stressed but I'm okay right now. it is actually kind of refreshing to know that Some people really are assholes even though they pretend to be the "good guy". It's nice to know the truth. Yeah I find it funny Tim made me promise to call him if I could hang out on Thrusday next week. All I could say is I promise to call you if I can (I mean I was on 7 epherdia and my fucking heart wanted to jump out of my chest later becuase of it but sure I'll call you if I don't have a fucking heart attack you dumb ass) I even said I didn't want to be alone like that... I wonder why. SOme people are so freaking dumb. I got online at 9 after sitting in my room listening to music and fuming over this crap(oh also watched tv for a bit, looked at my redwall book, tried writting a few poems (no success), I really should have just workered on my Internship paper with the way I was going last night I might have actually been able to write it out in a couple hours.I did end up writting one poem that I kinda like the other 6 suck but I like this one it's call Sun Splash, Yeah a happy powm when I was feeling like I was last night go figure right. I will type it in later if anyone wants to read it but I should talk to someone about it first cause it is does have some private topics in it. I don't want anyone mad at me really right now. well I think this is it for now I have to go potty and clean the house a bit. *hugs and kisses to those that do actually care*