They are known as Your amigo, bosom buddy, homie, sistren/bretheren, crony, confidant, mate, chum, cohort, main man/woman, comrade, peep, ally, pal, partner, dawg/bitch, bonifide. Whatever You refer to them as, they all mean the same thing.
Interaction lately amongst people I know has revealed that in some shape or form we are all going through some sort of "Friend" issue. Situations always arise in Life that constantly test our friendships..maybe it's Natures way of weeding out the good ones from the bad. So, I decided to express my thoughts on the subject.
Just recently, I recieved a call ..and to my surprise, on the other line was someone I hadn't spoke to in quite a while. Being abroad in Europe and me in Jamaica, we somehow lost contact with each other but life is a constant circle isn't it. Anyhow we talked for quite a while catching up on old times and getting updated on present times. During the conversation, it was revealed that they were going through some major friend issues. Certain events had made them realize who they're real friends are...and despite being in non contact for a while, I was always considered one of their best friends. Further conversations with people around me have produced similar results..This so called "Friend Issue".
What is a "Friend"? The dictionary gives this explanation: " a person who one knows well and is fond of; intimate associate; close acquaintance." Of course there are degrees of friendship. There are friends and there are "friends". Many people call even the briefest of acquaintances as friends. There is a real difference between an acquaintance who is friendly and a true friend. The English root for "friend" is "lover". So a true friend is one who has demonstrated loving concern over a period of time.
Remember there are friends and there are frenemies (false friends). People who have a hidden agenda to their supposed friendship are not friends..they are acquaintances with hidden or wrong motives. Therefore we have to be extra careful as to whom we seek out as friends. We all have different criterias as to what we consider as friends. To me, however, I break it down like this:
PLACE - Usually in order to have close friends two people should live near one another. They have to have contact.. see one another frequently. Such friends may be later separated because of work/family but they often remain friends throughout their lifes. With modern technology many have become friends who aren't even in the same time zone but they stay in touch daily and may actually become confidants.
Common Interests - To become real friends two people generally share some common interest. Be it hobbies, work, sports, whatever..many great friendships have developed from sharing common ground.
Time - It takes time to build a lasting friendship and even more time to maintain such a friendship. People who started out as friends find their friendship withering away because one party does not stay in touch.
Love - Since friend means lover...then it is obvious that two friends must like one another. We are not talking of love of a sexual nature but rather a deeper kind of love. They say love never fails...so friends should like and love one another no matter the circumstances. In some cases, It might happen that married men and women may develop a relationship with a friend superior to their marriage. In other words, a woman, for example, may have a friend who is considerably closer than her mate. If a husband or wife wants their mate as a friend they must act like a friend.
A True friend to me always comes to the aid of another.. be it emotionally, spiritually or materially. They share equally in one anothers's surplus. They know absolutely that they can rely and trust one another. They always know where one another is or is going. They make evry kind of sacrifice to help one another. They never slander or speak negatively of one another. They always defend and protect one another, and they never betray a confidence. It is unthinkable that a friend of mine is in need and I not know about it and not come to their immediate aid. That is not like me..there is no such thing as inconvenience or neglect when it comes to My True Friends and thats the TRUTH
The following are a few quotations I have found quite interesting:
-A friend is never known till he is needed.
-Friendship is a responsibility... not an opportunity.
-Pick your friends, but not to pieces.
-A friend is one who puts his finger on a fault without rubbing it in.
-Doing nothing for your friends results in having no friends to do for.
-Anyone can give advice, and yet a real friend will lend a helping hand.
-You can buy friendship with friendship, but never with dollars.
-A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.
-If you cannot think of any nice things to say about your friends, then you have the wrong friends.
-If you were another person, would you like to be a friend of yours?
-Don't worry about knowing people, just make yourself worth knowing.
-The best possession one may have is a true friend.
-True friends are like diamonds, precious but rare; false friends are like autumn leaves, found everywhere.
I am sure there are many other quotes out there but I hope You overstand what I am trying to say in this here insight into my mind. In my life I have very few of whom I would regard as a True friend. Very few I allow to get real close to me. I have been through many trials and tribulations and People constantly let me down. Yet, I will never give up on them. Because although I may make enemies of all who I encounter today..if I create one good friendship tomorrow ..is it not all worth it. Cherish Your true friends, they are few. To all my True friends , They know how I am..I remain constantly honest, fair, and fully supportive...with lotsa love. So , if You are likewise..say something...let me know if You are My Bonafide or my Bonafide Frenemy !!
G Suga
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